Words From the Front
Kristin Bole
Executive VP
DHR International
http://www.DHRintl.com

Three months into this new career I'm remembering that there's always a 3-month low. I developed this theory in the Peace Corps, watching people freak out, then vow to stay an extra year, then freak out again.

My theory is this: There are very specific highs and lows that come with any new situation which follow the learning curve of adjusting to a new culture. The truth is, it doesn't apply only to living overseas but is also very applicable to starting a new job. And yep, here I am again.

Here's the picture: For the first few months in a new career, everything's exciting. It's new, it's challenging, and you have no concept that it might actually be beyond you. By the end of 3 months, you've been in it long enough to know exactly how hard it is, how grossly unprepared you are, and how exhausting it is to change everything in your life. However, you haven't been in it long enough to have leapt the hurdle and gained the real experience it takes.

Your first response: Bolt. It's a basic fight or flight reaction to stress, but for some reason culture-shock stress creates only one of those responses - flight. You just want to get out of there. And the truth is, changing careers is a form of culture shock. Your old job suddenly sounds nice again. Your old skills feel familiar and valuable. You still don't really speak the language of the new place. And since your new skills are still in their infant stages, your old ones also seem to be the core of your self-esteem. Suddenly, it all just seems too hard. You think you're too old for this. Whatever gave you the idea that this would be a step forward? Suddenly it becomes painfully clear to you that this is an obvious step backwards. Why didn't your family warn you? Why didn't your friends? Why did this company think you'd be able to do this? You fooled them all, and you're paying the price.

Ok, so step back, breathe and relax.

The first thing to do is to remember that this is the hardest thing anyone ever does. And the fact is, most people don't have the guts to do it for precisely that reason.

Just as people take pets and favorite belongings to new country, you need to take something with you to your new job that reminds you that you were great before. Take time to put up those photos of family. Hang your awards on the wall where you can see them.

But mostly, take time for yourself. Do something each day that's tangible to improve your new skills (the equivalent of learning a new word each day in a new language), and to remind yourself of your old skills. Go to the gym. If you've been riding your bike since you were 6, ride your bike. If you've been baking cookies since you were in high school, bake cookies. If playing with a chemistry set was something that you've always loved, go buy one.

Do things that are EASY and TANGIBLE, with real results. It sounds silly, but it works. Pretty soon, you'll realize that you're at your 6-month high, your confidence has returned, and you've made it through the hardest point in your culture shock.

Copyright 2004, Joel Garfinkle, All Rights Reserved
Joel Garfinkle leads managers and executives to higher levels of professional and personal achievement. Partial client list: BofA, HP, GAP, Citigroup, Eli Lilly. Click here for his Executive Coaching Services.